No Saints, Only Sinners

Each week after zazen has concluded we go around the group and say our names and are asked to share a high and low point of the week if we are so inclined. This was instituted a couple of years ago because one of the complaints we heard from newbies that came to our group was that it was a “cold atmosphere” and not very inviting. Well, I think that pretty much sums up Zen, but I digress. 

This week during the high/low point discussion, several people brought up that they came to Zen to escape from a strict Christian upbringing. This is a thread that comes up in our group fairly frequently, and it happened to me to a lesser extent. I was sent to a Southern Baptist Sunday school because they were the only church that sent a bus by our farmhouse. Our mother shipped my brother and me there every Sunday and I’m convinced she only used the church as an unpaid babysitter for a couple of hours.  She grew up Catholic and never went to church as an adult. She abruptly stopped sending us when I came home one day and told her that she was going to Hell because she smoked cigarettes. 

But it seems like many of the people that visit our Sangha have had a much more traumatic experience with The Church. During these stories you can feel the pain and anguish in their voices as they share this with complete or almost complete strangers. On the flip side we have two members that are still active in their respective churches and seem very content and ok with their Christian Sanghas. 

I often wonder if in China there are people that go to Christian churches and tell how they were scarred in childhood by their experiences at the local Buddhist temple. They think Christianity is the salve that will heal them like a lot of American converts believe Zen will do for them. I think a lot of the newbies that come to our Sangha are unaware that there are plenty of Americans across the country that have been emotionally scarred by Zen in general and some of the teachers of Zen in particular. Are there Imams, Rabbis, and Pujaris that have been embroiled in controversies that have hurt their congregants? Should we expect more from our religious leaders than we expect out of ourselves? After all, they are supposed to be closer to God(s). 

I got into Zen because I read about the saintly Zen patriarchs that were serene, emotionless bastions of limitless wisdom.  I wanted to be one of those. Luckily I met a teacher that was 100% human and my idea of infallibility was quickly dispelled. Those saintly beings don’t exist in any religion. Some are going to help us. Some are going to hurt us. Some are going to do a good deal of both.

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